WARNING: MUSHY GUSHY GIRL STUFF AHEAD

....ok... I'll admit it.


......I'm jealous of Joanna.

THERE! I SAID IT!... I guess it's only natural after seeing my sister becoming inseparable from her fiancee for the past several weeks, that the jealousy would start to set in. (worst grammatical sentence ever... but you get my point.) I guess I'm inspired... and waiting. I know im 16. I know I've got like at least 8 years. I know I should focus on deepening my relationship with God. I know I should stop whining.... but I'll blame it on being a girl and noticing every little thing a guy does and trying to ignore it but thinking of the very possibility he might like me then pretty much planning out my entire life with this guy that has looked at me 2 times and we'll probably never meet again. Pretty pathetic.
Slowly the feelings start to leave and I'm ok, and I get freaked out when I think about living with my husband, without parents, making my own money, and trying to live. Yeaaah, not happening... at least not yet....and hopefully not for awhile....
Let's just say its a struggle. and it's one every girl goes through. Some try to do it themselves and end up having their heart shredded to pieces and just having another guy added to their ever growing lists of boyfriends. it's so pathetic. Ive read before that dating is just preparing you for divorce because you date however many guys and end up breaking up anyway, and people put such a spotlight on dating that it's practically like a bunch of little marriages.
Anyway.. I guess I've written enough now.... I just was reminded that a guy from an AC church read a girls entire blog before asking to marry her... crazy, but I'm ok if my guy  does do that...so far I haven't written anything TOO embarrassing....